Page 27 - C.A.L.L. #23 - Spring 2004

KALEIDOSCOPE

Most communities were established by young twenty-somethings, who couldn’t care less (or at least couldn’t
think that far ahead) about what was bound to happen in the course of time: old age. What follows is what
Jon Kent of Amherst, Mass. has to say about that from the outlook of those between the ages of forty and
sixty.

Meet Our New "Non- Bio" Family
Can creating non-residential intentional community replace certain functions of the traditional family?

Several years ago a group of friends and I, all in the most part, followed. This was the time
our mid-40s to early 60s, began to discuss how when people did what they were "supposed" to
we would care for ourselves as we aged and if do even though the discomfort of doing one's
we became ill. We knew that neither the duty might result in behaviors such as
government, insurance companies, nor alcoholism or extramarital affairs. The Baby
whatever families we had left would be able to Boomers saw the rise of the nuclear family -
attend to us as we aged. Some of us didn't want mom and pop did it alone, buttressed by the
to burden our children with this care. Others material resources of a wealthy country.
had grown in different directions than our Doctors made house calls. One income was
extended families, and wanted to have more sufficient to support a family, and health
self-determination over our care in the second insurance companies actually reimbursed
vulnerable stage of life families for medical expenses
(childhood being the first). We We knew that neither the with no questions asked. With a
decided to call our function a 50 percent divorce rate, the
"co-care circle." We are now six government, insurance Baby Boomers also saw the
in number, mostly with modest nuclear family begin dissolving,
incomes and one or more companies, nor whatever leaving individuals alone and
graduate and/or professional families we had left without support from either
degrees. Three of us have lived biological clans or institutions
in cohousing communities. At would be able to attend like the government or insurance
this point none of us have the companies. Now, in what some
energy nor desire to live to us as we aged. have called the "thermonuclear
together under the same roof, family" phase, single house
although this may change in the holders are doing everything they
future. can simply to survive.
Many changes have occurred in the way families …We now meet every six weeks for a potluck
support their members through life since World dinner. We talk about our reasons for being
War II. The generation that raised the Baby together and spend the time getting to know
Boomers saw the decline of the extended family one another. We are something like a family,
the clan of aunts, uncles, cousins and because while we are not each other's best
grandparents who organized and supported each friends, we still value our community
other through life's ups and downs. In the connection, tolerate our differences, and focus.
extended family, roles were defined and, for
_______________________________________________________________________
Jon Kent lived in a cohousing community for two years and wrote his graduate thesis on cohousing. He
lives in Amherst, Massachusetts.

And Ma’ikwe Ludwig presents us with a basic tenet for any and all couples planning to join some intentional
community:

“Simply put, healthy, aligned relationships get stronger and blossom in community; unhealthy,
misaligned relationships come apart, sometimes very quickly.”
Ma’ikwe Ludwig

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