Page 16 - C.A.L.L. #22 - Fall 2003

KALEIDOSCOPE

One of the branches of Kommune Niederkaufungen near Kassel, Germany - or more precisely, of the affiliated
Association for Ecology, Health and Education - run week-long or weekend seminaries, including lodging and
meals. Here is just one sample of a workshop for Intergender Conflict Resolution:

"You just can't possibly understand me!" - "Men are from Mars, women from Venus!" Those are two of the most-read
book titles about relationships between men and women. And actually, quite frequently such encounters are replete with
misunderstandings, exhausting debates or lack of dialogue and miscomprehension. Usually this also includes a waste of
lots of energy which could instead be invested in:

• Accepting and productively utilizing differences
• Promoting mutual understanding
• Removing blocks and searching for solutions (also finding them!),
• Taking into account the wishes and needs of both partners.

A little hesitantly I purloin an excerpt from the Zegg
Reader (bashful types might skip this one) by Ulf
Leonard, entitled:

Typical , again
An Open-Hearted Relationship:
not a word

about me
I always was a rather lascivious type who likes women. Since
1984 I'm connected to this project and I've built stable
friendships with some people, who are now here at Zegg - in

previous communities where we lived together. For various
reasons I moved in 1993 from Zegg to Munich. There I met a
fascinating woman.
We first had a series of introductory conversations, to find
out if we had the same concept of a loose friendship, which
could grant us enough freedom. We both just had behind us

nerve chafing relationships and wanted to bet on a safe
number before going to bed together. But then it turned out
quite differently.
Behind the initial timidity of our encounter I felt something We then fell in love mutually so strongly that we

so oddly familiar and well-known - that it filled me with joy stopped dating others. Until then this was unknown
and thankfulness. Together at last! I was so touched that I had to me. Even when I felt an intensive love relation to
a sleepless night. I just couldn't place properly this adventure one woman, I had at the same time other sexual
into my experiences up to now. The next day I absolutely contacts. And this time we had initially agreed
wanted to find out if I was left alone with my confusion or if mutually that we could - but we didn't seem to want
it had gripped her the same way. It was the same with her! anymore!

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