Page 3 - C.A.L.L. #47 - Winter 2020/2021

I Was Parented by 15 Adults on a Commune & This is

What It Taught Me

By Molly Leach

Most kids in this country grew up in some sort of a neighborhood — or even a cul de sac.
Maybe you knew a few of your surrounding neighbors, or maybe not. Maybe Mom would wave
at Jim across the street or sometimes chat with Karen on the curb / sidewalk / driveway /
stairwell / apartment building hallway / what have you. Maybe your relationship with those

who lived near you was friendly but never intimate or
involved. Maybe you had one or two parents, or a big
blended family, maybe one or more older siblings to
teach you about life. Not me, though; I was raised by
more than 15 adults.

It wasn’t quite since birth, but since age three — when
my family moved to a commune called Tierra Nueva
Cohousing on the central coast of California. This
intentional community of “parents” taught me
everything.

Before I even learned how to share space with my
younger sister, at the age of 3 I was already learning
how to share almost everything with a community of
over 20 families. Cohousing, which originated in
Scandinavia, involves getting a like-minded group of
Molly Leach, March 2020
people together and building a communal living
arrangement. Typically, this means clustering houses so that cars are on the perimeter and
open space is maximized. Though we lived in separate homes, we were all connected under a
canopy of avocado trees through weaving terra cotta pathways.

In cohousing, sharing resources is key, and for this reason these communities have shared
laundry facilities, workshops, game rooms, etc. We shared cars, cats, a garden, (free!) child
care, a chicken coop, and a yoga studio. We also shared the common house, our general
gathering place for shared meals, meetings, parties, and guest housing. (The common house
was also where my friends and I would play dress-up, start a fire in the library unsupervised,
sneak-watch inappropriate TV, and have our first spin-the-bottle experience.)

Tierra Nueva proper was established in 1997 after its founders Frank and Steph Recceri had
already held years of meetings, retreats, and community-building activities in preparation.
Cohousing is all about nonviolent communication, consensus-based decision making, and
generally pitching in — so the Recceris cultivated a community where families were happy to
collaborate, share, and grow together. As kids, we always felt safe as well as encouraged to

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