Page 7 - C.A.L.L. #27 - Summer 2006
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The following letter was written to the listserve living_in_community@yahoogroups.com as a rhe following letter was written to the listserve living_in_community@yahoogroups.com as a re-e-
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The following letter was written to the listserve living_in_community@yahoogroups.com as a rThe following letter was written to the listserve living_in_community@yahoogroups.com as a re-e-
sponse to a post by a couple of community seekers:ponse to a post by a couple of community seekers:
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sponse to a post by a couple of community seekers:sponse to a post by a couple of community seekers:
During John Kennedy 1960 presidential inaugural speech he said "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask uring John Kennedy 1960 presidential inaugural speech he said "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can what you can
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During John Kennedy 1960 presidential inaugural speech he said "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask During John Kennedy 1960 presidential inaugural speech he said "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can what you can
do for your country". When most people seek community they are asking primarily what it is that a community can do for them.o for your country". When most people seek community they are asking primarily what it is that a community can do for them.
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do for your country". When most people seek community they are asking primarily what it is that a community can do for them.do for your country". When most people seek community they are asking primarily what it is that a community can do for them.
This is usually their entire focus. Thehis is usually their entire focus. Theyy shop around at all the different communities to see what each offers them pe shop around at all the different communities to see what each offers them personally rsonally and and
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This is usually their entire focus. TheThis is usually their entire focus. Theyy shop around at all the different communities to see what each offers them pe shop around at all the different communities to see what each offers them personally rsonally and and
which will make their lives work well. Thehich will make their lives work well. Theyy all have ideals worked out in their heads of what it is they want in a community se all have ideals worked out in their heads of what it is they want in a community set-t-
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which will make their lives work well. Thewhich will make their lives work well. Theyy all have ideals worked out in their heads of what it is they want in a community se all have ideals worked out in their heads of what it is they want in a community set-t-
ting, and how they want it to work out for them. Unfortunately, theing, and how they want it to work out for them. Unfortunately, theyy nnever ask what it is they can do for the commuever ask what it is they can do for the community, or how nity, or how
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ting, and how they want it to work out for them. Unfortunately, theting, and how they want it to work out for them. Unfortunately, theyy nnever ask what it is they can do for the commuever ask what it is they can do for the community, or how nity, or how
they can apply themselves to the community's needs.hey can apply themselves to the community's needs.
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they can apply themselves to the community's needs.they can apply themselves to the community's needs.
I base my feelings upon what the poster said..." base my feelings upon what the poster said..."A big issue for me these days is wanting to create community that allows for solA big issue for me these days is wanting to create community that allows for soli-i-
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I base my feelings upon what the poster said..."I base my feelings upon what the poster said..."A big issue for me these days is wanting to create community that allows for solA big issue for me these days is wanting to create community that allows for soli-i-
tude and privacy. I am in a relationship with someone who neude and privacy. I am in a relationship with someone who needs his alone time as much as I need my community involvement. eds his alone time as much as I need my community involvement.
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tude and privacy. I am in a relationship with someone who netude and privacy. I am in a relationship with someone who needs his alone time as much as I need my community involvement. eds his alone time as much as I need my community involvement.
Cohousing would be the answer if we could afford it, but in NYC it's out of reach for us. I've made some attempts at forming a ohousing would be the answer if we could afford it, but in NYC it's out of reach for us. I've made some attempts at forming a
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Cohousing would be the answer if we could afford it, but in NYC it's out of reach for us. I've made some attempts at forming a Cohousing would be the answer if we could afford it, but in NYC it's out of reach for us. I've made some attempts at forming a
group to try to address this. I'm wondering how other people haveroup to try to address this. I'm wondering how other people have approached this issue. I know it's not an uncommon one. Any approached this issue. I know it's not an uncommon one. Any
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group to try to address this. I'm wondering how other people havegroup to try to address this. I'm wondering how other people have approached this issue. I know it's not an uncommon one. Any approached this issue. I know it's not an uncommon one. Any
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thoughts?houghts?""
thoughts?thoughts?""
I I personally feel that they will run into the same problems and barriers to their finding their right community as long as they are personally feel that they will run into the same problems and barriers to their finding their right community as long as they are
I personally feel that they will run into the same problems and barriers to their finding their right community as long as they are I personally feel that they will run into the same problems and barriers to their finding their right community as long as they are
asking the communities what it is they can do for tsking the communities what it is they can do for them. If they changed how they approach a community by asking what it is hem. If they changed how they approach a community by asking what it is
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asking the communities what it is they can do for tasking the communities what it is they can do for them. If they changed how they approach a community by asking what it is hem. If they changed how they approach a community by asking what it is
they can do for the community, then I believe their issues of solitude and community will solve itself. Why? Because I believe they hey can do for the community, then I believe their issues of solitude and community will solve itself. Why? Because I believe they
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they can do for the community, then I believe their issues of solitude and community will solve itself. Why? Because I believe they they can do for the community, then I believe their issues of solitude and community will solve itself. Why? Because I believe they
would have established an empathic connection with tould have established an empathic connection with the community they extended themselves to in this manner. Then if they he community they extended themselves to in this manner. Then if they
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would have established an empathic connection with twould have established an empathic connection with the community they extended themselves to in this manner. Then if they he community they extended themselves to in this manner. Then if they
told that community about their need for solitude it wouldn't feel like they were doing it to exploit the community's good will for old that community about their need for solitude it wouldn't feel like they were doing it to exploit the community's good will for
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told that community about their need for solitude it wouldn't feel like they were doing it to exploit the community's good will for told that community about their need for solitude it wouldn't feel like they were doing it to exploit the community's good will for
their selfheir self--interest and personal advantage leaving theinterest and personal advantage leaving the community with unmanageable holes in their community life. community with unmanageable holes in their community life.
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their selftheir self--interest and personal advantage leaving theinterest and personal advantage leaving the community with unmanageable holes in their community life. community with unmanageable holes in their community life.
My experience of people who approach our community with consideration of what it is the community needs is one of the most y experience of people who approach our community with consideration of what it is the community needs is one of the most
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My experience of people who approach our community with consideration of what it is the community needs is one of the most My experience of people who approach our community with consideration of what it is the community needs is one of the most
endearing things a community seeker can offer a community. However, thi this is an extremely rare experience. It is one of the s is an extremely rare experience. It is one of the
endearing things a community seeker can offer a community. However,
endearing things a community seeker can offer a community. However, thiendearing things a community seeker can offer a community. However, this is an extremely rare experience. It is one of the s is an extremely rare experience. It is one of the
hardest things for people in our culture to do. It really is a strange idea to them. When I have tried to point this out as their best ardest things for people in our culture to do. It really is a strange idea to them. When I have tried to point this out as their best
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hardest things for people in our culture to do. It really is a strange idea to them. When I have tried to point this out as their best hardest things for people in our culture to do. It really is a strange idea to them. When I have tried to point this out as their best
way to approach joining our community they almost always respond withay to approach joining our community they almost always respond with indifference and/or outrage. But, in my thinking, indifference and/or outrage. But, in my thinking, it is it is
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way to approach joining our community they almost always respond withway to approach joining our community they almost always respond with indifference and/or outrage. But, in my thinking, indifference and/or outrage. But, in my thinking, it is it is
the proper way to approach a community if they want to make the impression they love the idea of living in community and they he proper way to approach a community if they want to make the impression they love the idea of living in community and they
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the proper way to approach a community if they want to make the impression they love the idea of living in community and they the proper way to approach a community if they want to make the impression they love the idea of living in community and they
are willing to offer their energies into community life to make it work re willing to offer their energies into community life to make it work for everyone in the community.for everyone in the community.
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are willing to offer their energies into community life to make it work are willing to offer their energies into community life to make it work for everyone in the community.for everyone in the community.
If people could do this for our communityf people could do this for our community,, the issues revolving around their need for solitude and community, or whatever, the issues revolving around their need for solitude and community, or whatever,
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If people could do this for our communityIf people could do this for our community,, the issues revolving around their need for solitude and community, or whatever, the issues revolving around their need for solitude and community, or whatever,
would become minor issues to us. If they do not extend themselves in this empathic manner, then theiould become minor issues to us. If they do not extend themselves in this empathic manner, then their requests, whatever they r requests, whatever they
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would become minor issues to us. If they do not extend themselves in this empathic manner, then theiwould become minor issues to us. If they do not extend themselves in this empathic manner, then their requests, whatever they r requests, whatever they
are, become major issues of which our response is usually to turn them away. re, become major issues of which our response is usually to turn them away.
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are, become major issues of which our response is usually to turn them away. are, become major issues of which our response is usually to turn them away.
e aske ask of of ourselves when people apply to join us in communityourselves when people apply to join us in community… … "Do these people love community, the communitarian lifestyle "Do these people love community, the communitarian lifestyle
W W W We aske ask of of ourselves when people apply to join us in communityourselves when people apply to join us in community… … "Do these people love community, the communitarian lifestyle "Do these people love community, the communitarian lifestyle
and those with whom they nd those with whom they will be sharing community life?" Do these people love our community in specific? If they cannot cowill be sharing community life?" Do these people love our community in specific? If they cannot con-n-
and those with whom they and those with whom they will be sharing community life?" Do these people love our community in specific? If they cannot cowill be sharing community life?" Do these people love our community in specific? If they cannot con-n-
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vince us the above is their feelings then we are not interested in them, nor in their personal issues in finding their right community ince us the above is their feelings then we are not interested in them, nor in their personal issues in finding their right community
vince us the above is their feelings then we are not interested in them, nor in their personal issues in finding their right community vince us the above is their feelings then we are not interested in them, nor in their personal issues in finding their right community
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for themselves. If peor themselves. If people approach us to join us in community for any other reason other then for the love of community then it is ople approach us to join us in community for any other reason other then for the love of community then it is
for themselves. If pefor themselves. If people approach us to join us in community for any other reason other then for the love of community then it is ople approach us to join us in community for any other reason other then for the love of community then it is
a big loser for us, and we're better off not letting these people into our lives. big loser for us, and we're better off not letting these people into our lives.
a big loser for us, and we're better off not letting these people into our lives.a big loser for us, and we're better off not letting these people into our lives.
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Now I can hear the protests already. How can you reasonablow I can hear the protests already. How can you reasonablyy a ask someone to love community when they have never expersk someone to love community when they have never experi-i-
Now I can hear the protests already. How can you reasonablNow I can hear the protests already. How can you reasonablyy a ask someone to love community when they have never expersk someone to love community when they have never experi-i-
enced living in a community? Or, how can you ask them to love your community when they have no personal experience of it? nced living in a community? Or, how can you ask them to love your community when they have no personal experience of it?
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enced living in a community? Or, how can you ask them to love your community when they have no personal experience of it? enced living in a community? Or, how can you ask them to love your community when they have no personal experience of it?
Well I respond, we learned to love the idea of living in community with othersell I respond, we learned to love the idea of living in community with others from all the effort we put into learning everything from all the effort we put into learning everything
Well I respond, we learned to love the idea of living in community with othersWell I respond, we learned to love the idea of living in community with others from all the effort we put into learning everything from all the effort we put into learning everything
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we could about the community lifestyle and making that lifestyle work for everyone in the community. We also put a great deal e could about the community lifestyle and making that lifestyle work for everyone in the community. We also put a great deal
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we could about the community lifestyle and making that lifestyle work for everyone in the community. We also put a great deal we could about the community lifestyle and making that lifestyle work for everyone in the community. We also put a great deal
of effort into our personal growth to make ourselves into the type of people f effort into our personal growth to make ourselves into the type of people who could live successfully with others in a commwho could live successfully with others in a commu-u-
of effort into our personal growth to make ourselves into the type of people of effort into our personal growth to make ourselves into the type of people who could live successfully with others in a commwho could live successfully with others in a commu-u-
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nity setting. This is how one persuades others of their love of the communitarian lifestyle, or their particular love for your ity setting. This is how one persuades others of their love of the communitarian lifestyle, or their particular love for your
nity setting. This is how one persuades others of their love of the communitarian lifestyle, or their particular love for your nity setting. This is how one persuades others of their love of the communitarian lifestyle, or their particular love for your
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community effort.ommunity effort.
community effort.community effort.
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When we asked those who wanted to join us in community if then we asked those who wanted to join us in community if they would be willing to make similar efforts as we have in learning hey would be willing to make similar efforts as we have in learning
When we asked those who wanted to join us in community if tWhen we asked those who wanted to join us in community if they would be willing to make similar efforts as we have in learning hey would be willing to make similar efforts as we have in learning
about and adapting to community life and its demands thebout and adapting to community life and its demands theyy have answered..."We do not have to do this for or with you or an have answered..."We do not have to do this for or with you or any-y-
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about and adapting to community life and its demands theabout and adapting to community life and its demands theyy have answered..."We do not have to do this for or with you or an have answered..."We do not have to do this for or with you or any-y-
one because we are not required to ne because we are not required to do do so by the cultural agreemenso by the cultural agreements we have known and have been raised in." Now do you see ts we have known and have been raised in." Now do you see
one because we are not required to one because we are not required to do do so by the cultural agreemenso by the cultural agreements we have known and have been raised in." Now do you see ts we have known and have been raised in." Now do you see
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how transparent most people are when they seek community? Is it any wonder why so many communities fail?ow transparent most people are when they seek community? Is it any wonder why so many communities fail?
how transparent most people are when they seek community? Is it any wonder why so many communities fail?how transparent most people are when they seek community? Is it any wonder why so many communities fail?
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If one can find someone willing to do what needs to be done to make community life work forf one can find someone willing to do what needs to be done to make community life work for everyone in the community one everyone in the community one
I If one can find someone willing to do what needs to be done to make community life work forIf one can find someone willing to do what needs to be done to make community life work for everyone in the community one everyone in the community one
has found a precious jewel. This is the type of person you wantas found a precious jewel. This is the type of person you want to to join you in community. If this type of person approaches us in join you in community. If this type of person approaches us in
has found a precious jewel. This is the type of person you wanthas found a precious jewel. This is the type of person you want to to join you in community. If this type of person approaches us in join you in community. If this type of person approaches us in
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the loving ways we have described and this person needs solitude it is minor issue because we he loving ways we have described and this person needs solitude it is minor issue because we know this person loves us and the know this person loves us and the
the loving ways we have described and this person needs solitude it is minor issue because we the loving ways we have described and this person needs solitude it is minor issue because we know this person loves us and the know this person loves us and the
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community. We are more than happy to extended these same feelings to this type of person, and to bend over backwards so that ommunity. We are more than happy to extended these same feelings to this type of person, and to bend over backwards so that
community. We are more than happy to extended these same feelings to this type of person, and to bend over backwards so that community. We are more than happy to extended these same feelings to this type of person, and to bend over backwards so that
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community life can work well for himommunity life can work well for him or her. or her.
community life can work well for himcommunity life can work well for him or her. or her.
Danielaniel
DanielDaniel
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Twoearthandsky@aol.comwoearthandsky@aol.com
Twoearthandsky@aol.comTwoearthandsky@aol.com
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