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explore and figure things out on our own. I know it sounds like the wholesome beginning of

the Rajneesh movement but don’t worry: The Tierra Nueva community is to this day still
thriving upon the same ideals it was built on over 20 years ago.

Growing up in this little community had its pros
and cons. Living closely with people from all
different backgrounds can be just as wonderful
as it is challenging. I was not only raised by
many adults ; I was also raised and taught by
my peers. But growing up on a commune was, for
me, the best possible parenting I could have

had. Here’s what it taught me.

Privacy is overrated

This became clearer to me when I was a
teenager. Because we share almost everything
in cohousing, there can be quite a lack of
privacy. These adults watch you grow up, and then once you’re a teenager you are under a
microscope. They question your decisions and know all too much about that boy you’re dating
at school or that blowout fight you got in with your best friend. Sometimes it’s great; you
feel loved and seen. Other times, it can be a drag, especially in that weird teen stage of life.

When my cohousing sisters and I hit around 15, we began to experiment with marijuana and
alcohol. Unlike a normal household, where you usually keep this stuff from your parents, try
it at a friend’s house or behind the school, we were trying it in cohousing. When one of my
close friends started smoking weed out her window every night, the next-door neighbor
threw a huge fit, called the cops, and threatened to send her to juvie. And this didn’t happen
only once: This happened nearly any time any of us would try to smoke inside, outside, on the
roof, in the woods, you name it. Of course, we also tried to use the common house to throw a
rager. And as any parent knows, teens can be careless, they don’t necessarily clean up, they
can be very loud, and they don’t often give a rat’s ass about where they are partying as long
as it isn’t their place. Needless to say, the rager attempt did not go well for us.

The girls and I also used to brag about where we lived. We were the cool, easygoing “hippies”
who always had a good unsupervised place to throw a party. But because we were using
communal space, we were actually under a surprising amount of scrutiny. We would usually
get a scathing email to the whole community the next day — or a neighbor would just plain
crash our party, frowning and muttering about the noise. But hey, sometimes we would
actually get an elderly neighbor party crasher who just wanted to join in on the fun!

Independence (and imagination) is key

In cohousing, there was always something to explore, and we kids were lucky enough to do a
lot of that exploration on our own. The entire community was a safe space in which we could
play, grow, and use our imaginations. Every morning, I would wake up, run over to my best

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